Friday, March 18, 2011


Most probably, more to...exhausted.

Yesh. Maybe exhausted is much more applicable to explain my current feeling today.

This morning I feel like I wanna cry. So loud.
I wish I have other chance, i wish i can take other path.
i wish....i wish...and i wish..

Its very sad to see how bad things or routines keep happening, and we can't do anything to make it better.
Its sad to see how people become shallow or unwise due to their own choices.
And we only can see all of it happens, nothing we can do. Like, our hands are tied, and we're there just to watch things happen.

Maybe if this conditions happen for once or twice, i still can handle it.
But how about months?

If i'm not pregnant, probably i will take other choice, i will take other path.
But i cant. i have this tiny creature inside me, which i have to take good care of his/her, even though it means to sacrifice my own happiness. I will. Believe me, I will.

It's just....i cant take it anymore. Maybe i'm just too tired. But what if, I really cant take it anymore?
I'm very sad, and I know my baby in my womb also able to feel what I feel. Kinda scary to know that s/he's also sad right now, because i feel very guilty. Very guilty, yet i can't make myself happier in this period of time.

I just need to cry.

I'm sorry baby...maybe mom's gonna cry kinda loud, don't bother okay? :)
Mom's gonna be fine, and we'll be just fine like always.

Love u always,


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